Poor thing…

Everyone takes pills for the first time….and yes, everyone comes down.  Poor thing, we’d like to tell her that it gets better in the morning, but maybe it’s best if we just lie and say that Portishead will be releasing a greatest hits package very, very soon.  That’ll make it better, won’t it old girl?  And don’t forget, we all have to start somewhere, and very obviously, so do you.  You have been well-schooled in inner city histrionics, and gosh, does it show.  Like that bad haircut you most certainly have.

You don’t think you go straight to reviewing the Strokes do you?  Silly goat, that’s for people that have artistic sensibilities.  You were hired because you can type.  Sort of.


Yes folks, these are exactly the sort of hipsters that we have our sights set on.  Too cool to like anything, and so dumb they hate it all.  Scoffing, scoffing, scoffing….and not an idea between the lot of them.

Not revenge, mind you, just the other half of the 4th estate hitting the ball right back into the other half of the court.  Don’t you know we’re all critics?  Well, now you do….

Courstesy of Rave Magazine, Brisbane.

ROYAL CHANT – Right On / Write Off PDF Print E-mail
Tuesday, 15 December 2009

Royally average rock

I had hoped, being my first review for Rave, that I would be given something amazing – something I could happily heap praise upon (Yeah right! – Indie Ed.). It was not to be. It is difficult to figure out exactly what sound Sydney based Royal Chant are going for on their four track EP Right On / Write Off. This debut EP boasts clean guitars and melodic almost-rock choruses, though falls short of achieving any real interest. Royal Chant are the perfect contenders for winning a local band competition but such competitions aren’t renowned for winning with originality. Lyrics are suitably catchy, if not uninspiring and aren’t about to break hearts or blow minds. Self-proclaiming players of “hyperverbal (sic) rock with passion and poetry” upon listening, lack both the rock and the poetry. If everyone believes the hype as much as the band members themselves seem to, then perhaps Royal Chant will go far. Prime fodder for those who live on the median strip.



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One Response to “Poor thing…”

  1. Peter & Kim Says:

    What planet are you on? Royal Chant are the best LIVE band I have seen for years. Do yourself a favour and go to one of their gigs.

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